Forever Changed

We go through life seeing ourselves in a certain way. After time goes by we sometimes fail to see the subtle instances when we have grown but there are moments that mark an instant in time when we know a giant step has taken place. For me such a moment occured one summer day.

It was an early Wednesday morning and I was scheduled for an interview after lunch. It was a great opportunity to lead a new venture under the team that had been mentoring me, and though not a sure thing, I felt I had a great chance to land the exciting opportunity.

Wednesday was also my appointment day with the doctor. I had awakened early that morning with lower back spasms and I thought I’d mention it. This was my first baby and I was breaking ground.

“No, I don’t see this baby coming  today,” he said.

And he was wrong.

After being reassured deliver was still days away, my husband and I went to the grocery store and I could not take two steps before I had to tightly grasp the shopping cart for support. Once home I realized I’d have to cancel my interview.

“Well, you better have a really good reason,” said my mentor and potential new supervisor. He seemed to think that being in labor was an OK reason.

When we brought the baby home we settled everything as we had planned. The crib was on my side of our bed and my husband’s side faced the window. I remember going to the kitchen for some reason and as I returned to the bedroom I saw the room before me and something more. To the right, I saw the baby in the crib next to the bed with his father sitting on the side of the bed looking out the window. And to the left, I saw the same image but without the crib or the baby, as it had always been before.

I stopped for a moment to take in this vision and I immediately understood that my life  was now forever changed. Without qualms, I stepped forward to the right, and with peace and expectation in my heart, I opened myself up to the new person I had become.

 

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