Never have I been so challenged, moved, threatened, elated or enchanted as a person.
I have seen how my life has been enhanced in a whole different sphere I didn’t know I possessed, and to think it could not have been tapped but for life taking me there.
It was not a path I was living towards. Just as many of the paths I have taken were chosen as a arrived at the fork on the road, and explored and relished with what they brought my way, I could say this path chose me.
So in a measured life that was calibrated to weigh precisely upon capabilities and norms of practice, where all was within the purview of the established horizon and striving towards excellence, things changed one day. They have not stopped changing since.
I have learned tolerance and acceptance. I have learned leadership and consensus. I have learned unconditional commitment, motivation and giving. I have also learned letting go. But I have been enriched beyond expectations.
I have learned to appreciate the opportunity to have been chosen, and the weight of that responsibility. And I have learned to love in so many different ways.
When I found out I was going to be a mother, I had no idea how my life would grow. I approached it in my usual way, with commitment and a visit to the library.
Books were helpful but despite reading everything on the shelf in nine months, I found there was so much more that was not in the books. I learned these things by living through them in the best way I could.
From the fear of not knowing how to communicate with the coming little being, to learning to put my hair down, releasing poise and societal etiquette, to be the eternal motivator, to respond to the greater needs of the individual child and momentary lessons or demands. And then, knowing when to create boundaries that secure but not stifle, or how to impart, measure and impose consequences that mold and teach, all while still having the energy to have fun together.
It has been a journey through the fog, a surprise at every turn, sometimes funny, sometimes overwhelmingly touching, and sometimes gripping with fear. And a lesson in living without possessing, without expectation, with love and giving. An art to provide just enough pressure, just enough push, just enough love and inspiration to allow a unique masterpiece to take place before my eyes.
Would I do it again?
My children have been the grandest rewards this life has given me. It has been a pleasure and an honor to have been chosen, to have learned so much from them and to have had the opportunity to guide them. I wouldn’t want to miss that journey.
I am certainly glad I stepped up to the plate.