We declare our independence to be free to pursue happiness and we ask ourselves, are we there yet? Can you respond to this question instantly? Do you ponder and assess? Would you know what it looks like?
In asking myself those very questions I realized that I did not know the answer and I began an unacknowledged journey in the pursuit of happiness.
I certainly wanted to be there but I wasn’t quite sure of the extent of it or what it would be like.
I thought that if I had certain things which I didn’t have, that would make me happy but those things were not always there for me to have. This caused tremendous turmoil, rebelliousness, and unhappiness. There were two options, I could force them or I could not.
Not being one to give up I became so focuses on chasing those things that I forgot to paint, sing, and dance.
A dear friend lent me his hand and said, “Look at all the things you have.” He pointed to the sun, the breeze, the leaves and the loving people at my side but I was not quite ready to be satisfied.
Right around the moment of the most extreme angst I finally listened to a colleague and joined a breathe-focused meditation workshop. Through this experience I was able to see what really mattered to me. I didn’t stop wanting but I could see what mattered most to me.
The first thing was to know there was total love and acceptance where it mattered, at the beginning, at the top! This gave me the freedom to give that to everyone else.
The journey began to matter more. I was less distracted. I could begin to see that certain things called to me. I was unadulteratedly free to explore them. They had significance and I felt the freedom to relish the learning without judgement. In doing so, I was learning to know myself more than before.
As I continue to enjoy my personal journey through life and realize that each one of us chooses our own response and disposition to the path before us, I can be free to be myself and allow others to make their own choices. Have I reached the level of perfection? Far from it but at least now I know where I need to focus: I am the work in progress.
What have I gained? This process has taught me that the destination is myself. Knowing who I am. The result is what I give back in the form of what I receive and the light I choose to shine is that of peace and love, not only as words but as a true understanding, as an authentic experience.
So today, I believe I am truly on the right path. I have been on it all along but today I am more ready to enjoy it as myself.