As If…Getting Exactly What I Want

Lilibeth Andre, Sketch 5978, Conté on paper

Lilibeth Andre, Sketch 5978, Conté on paper

When not getting exactly what I want, I work as if…

Sometimes, it seems that I am wearing blinders and I keep running into a wall. This can be in any aspect of my life.

If I get it between my head that I’m going to make it happen, that I’m going to make it work, I can spin my wheels into the mud and not get any traction. I can be stubborn and really grind it in but time or maybe I may not be ready to get there. I may be pushing for something before its time.

What I realize sometimes, when I let my experience guide me, is that if I follow my painting training then all can work out.

Lilibeth Andre, Sketch 5979, Conté on paper

Lilibeth Andre, Sketch 5979, Conté on paper

Sometimes when I’m at the easel, I’ll reach a point when things are just not falling into place. I can try, and try, and try and they just don’t happen. I can keep digging in and not go anywhere for quite some time. The place I am trying to reach is not yet quite ready for me, and perhaps I am not quite ready to get there myself.

These are the times when I need to take a break.  Sometimes I won’t realize I need that space to allow growth to happen so it can be a while before I put the brush down but when I do, I allow the rivers of light to flow in and an enlightened moment begins to brew.

I take a break with the thought that it is all in progress and preparing for my arrival.

Lilibeth Andre, Garden Iris, photograph

Lilibeth Andre, Garden Iris, photograph

I’ll work on my garden, I’ll do a little writing, I may even do a household chore (though not my favorite I must say). I’ll do something that engages the mind in a different way. It helps to exercise my brain in ways that turn the current track off and start up a new brain wave.

It’s as if I step from one escalator to another, and another, and another midway to reach a point I have yet not been. Like a chess game. In order to take the King, I need to engage the pawns, rooks, and bishops in a dance yet unchoreographed, to get to mate.

Keeping in mind that I know I will get there, to the point I wish to be, allows me to understand that it may not be in my hand right then, but I will do what I need to do to get what I want, and work as if…

Many times, I eventually get there, the point where “where” is.

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About The Artist

Houston, Texas A classical artist and writer that delves in sustainability issues and natural health practices.
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