When not getting exactly what I want, I work as if…
Sometimes, it seems that I am wearing blinders and I keep running into a wall. This can be in any aspect of my life.
If I get it between my head that I’m going to make it happen, that I’m going to make it work, I can spin my wheels into the mud and not get any traction. I can be stubborn and really grind it in but time or maybe I may not be ready to get there. I may be pushing for something before its time.
What I realize sometimes, when I let my experience guide me, is that if I follow my painting training then all can work out.
Sometimes when I’m at the easel, I’ll reach a point when things are just not falling into place. I can try, and try, and try and they just don’t happen. I can keep digging in and not go anywhere for quite some time. The place I am trying to reach is not yet quite ready for me, and perhaps I am not quite ready to get there myself.
These are the times when I need to take a break. Sometimes I won’t realize I need that space to allow growth to happen so it can be a while before I put the brush down but when I do, I allow the rivers of light to flow in and an enlightened moment begins to brew.
I take a break with the thought that it is all in progress and preparing for my arrival.
I’ll work on my garden, I’ll do a little writing, I may even do a household chore (though not my favorite I must say). I’ll do something that engages the mind in a different way. It helps to exercise my brain in ways that turn the current track off and start up a new brain wave.
It’s as if I step from one escalator to another, and another, and another midway to reach a point I have yet not been. Like a chess game. In order to take the King, I need to engage the pawns, rooks, and bishops in a dance yet unchoreographed, to get to mate.
Keeping in mind that I know I will get there, to the point I wish to be, allows me to understand that it may not be in my hand right then, but I will do what I need to do to get what I want, and work as if…
Many times, I eventually get there, the point where “where” is.