It hadn’t become so evident as when I was recently doing my inventory for 2011. What the inventory revealed was what I had suspected but failed to acknowledge. I am in a production slump.
When did it happen? How did it come about?
I have always felt that creating and producing my creations is a “birthing” process. So what has been happening here? Why am I not enjoying the gestation and birthing more paintings?
Inspiration comes to me constantly. I suppose it is the high sensibility. So that is not the issue. In fact, inspiration keeps coming in. If anything, it generates a higher level of frustration at not being able to express that inspiration in a vehicle that speaks to what I see, what I perceive. It is like having to keep a secret you really need to share.
What I see has been sequestering my productivity is my emotional and mental over-stimulation. All the other aspects of life have been really demanding my all. Not just in heart and mind but in action too. The things that can’t be put on hold have been tugging at my skirt. The things that just happen.
Realizing this was a situation that required full engagement and energy, I realized I had to raise the shield, round up the wagons, and focus in. I turned off the external sensors (so easy to say, not as easy to do) and focused on the immediate. I shut down the multi-tasking mode (is it possible?) and turned all forces to the issues at hand.
Now, all of you with unlinear minds know that this is practically impossible to do so you can only understand the level of energy it takes to do this as well. And in this manner, I turned all resources to be with these issues and help process them through.
So with strong focus on the immediate to get things rolling again, a higher level of frustration for not being able to create output, and expending more energy than desired targeted on staying focused, I have reached a point where I can say: I need to paint!
In this mode, I have prepared an ambitious amount of canvases and have lined them up with a clean palette at hand. I am ready to begin because creativity comes out in many other ways, like a leaky dike ready to burst. Best grab the easel. Quick!